12 Things You Didn’t Know About Me. By Donald Trump

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So Trump is the topic of the day, every day, all year long. There isn’t much we don’t know about him since his campaign to run for president started. We’ve heard about his insane political ideas, read his narcissistic tweets, got insider information on his past and who he really is – but Bill Maher, who regularly roasts Trump on his show Real Time – feels that there are just 12 more things everyone needs to know about Donald Drumpf. You may find them to be funny, but Bill says he’s convinced they’re true.
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#1

“When I masturbate, my tiny hands make my penis look bigger.”
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#2

“Not only do I read The Bible, the book of Revelations mentions me by name.”
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#3

“Mar-a-lago” is Spanish for “House of Douche.”
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#4

“I saved the box Melania arrived in so I can return her when she turns 50.”
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#5

“When I get bored around the office, I make Chris Christie dance around in a diaper.”
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#6

“I also comb over my pubic hair.”
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#7

“My North Korea policy is based on what Melania hears at the nail salon.”
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#8

“I don’t drink alcohol. I cause others to drink alcohol”
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#9

“I never actually believed Obama was born in Kenya, because I thought the name of the country was Kanye.”
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#10

“Sometimes, late at night, I worry that my obsessive self-aggrandizement and self-promotion are symptoms of inner weakness and a transparent, childish impulse that everyone can see. I worry they’re laughing at how obvious it is that I’m an abandoned, frightened child swirling in a black emptiness. But then I tweet shit about my poll numbers and I feel better.”
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#11

“I cry at movies. Because they’re integrated.”
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#12

“The original name for Trump Tower was My Big Shiny Penis Building.”
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